


hot housewofe actioin

by Vintar



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Egregious typos, F/M, Fluff, Roleplay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-05
Updated: 2012-03-05
Packaged: 2017-11-01 12:25:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/356751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vintar/pseuds/Vintar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <span class="roxy">*wife<br/>*actnion<br/>*actino<br/>*action</span>
</p>
<p>Roxy and Tavros roleplay as husband and wife. It goes about as well as you'd expect. Written for the kink meme!</p>
            </blockquote>





	hot housewofe actioin

TG: phew ive sure had a hard day of beign a sexy housewofe  
TG: *wife  
TG: lolol wofe  
TG: dusting all these hard-to-reach shelves in my prtety lil heels  
TG: doing all this vacuuming in my pearls for some reason  
TG: baking a fuckton of fancyass cakes  
TG: gossppsing about the neighbors and drinking all these marninis  
TG: *martinis  
TG: boy i cant wait until my husband comes homo  
TG: *HOME i mean HOME  
TG: wow that woudl be a cmopletely differnt roleplay  
TG: i get enough of that irl lets not do that one  
TG: anywyas this is the part where you come in  
AT: oH, sORRY,  
AT: hELLO, i'M YOUR HUSBAND,  
TG: geeeez  
AT: iS THAT NOT HOW IT GOES,  
TG: i know ur a alein and everything but man  
TG: youve got to be smoother than that  
TG: be all honey im home  
TG: i need a drink and some sexay housewofe action  
AT: sORRY,  
AT: oKAY, lET ME TRY AGAIN,  
AT: hONEY, i'M HOME,  
TG: oh darling how was work at teh bank  
AT: iT WAS,  
AT: uH, wHAT DO PEOPLE DO, wHEN THEY WORK IN A BANK,  
TG: well they  
TG: there's money and they  
TG: lololol i dont actaully know  
TG: pretend that you sell insurance or smth instead  
AT: wHAT'S INSURANCE,  
TG: its a thing where you give money to someone if somethig bad happens to them  
AT: wOW, oKAY,  
AT: i COULD DO WITH THAT, i THINK,  
AT: bAD THINGS ARE ALWAYS HAPPENING TO ME, mORE OR LESS CONSTANTLY,  
TG: hmph!!  
TG: i hmph like a scorned housewofe!!  
AT: oH, i DIDN'T MEAN,  
AT: uH,  
TG: lets just try again ok  
TG: how was ur completely non-specific work day honey  
AT: iT WAS ADEQUATE IN RESPECT TO ALL HUMAN CONCERNS,  
AT: aND WE SHOULD IMMEDIATELY MOVE ON FROM THAT TOPIC, wITHOUT REQUESTING ANY PARTICULARS,  
AT: pERHAPS TO MORE INTERESTING THINGS,,,  
TG: ooh mister toreador ooh  
TG: here let me help you out of those stuffy clothes  
AT: i TAKE OFF MY,  
AT: uH, wHAT DO MATURE HUMAN MALES GENERALLY TEND TO WEAR,  
TG: sheesh there goes my immersion  
TG: it just keeled right over  
TG: fare thee well little immersion  
TG: u died too young   
AT: iT'S JUST, i DON'T KNOW THESE THINGS,  
TG: do u have alien google out there  
TG: just goggle it okay  
TG: *gloogle  
TG: lololol gloogle  
AT: oKAY, jUST A MINUTE,

AT: tHAT WASN'T PARTICULARLY HELPFUL, iN ANY WAY,  
AT: iT'S ACTUALLY KIND OF ALARMING,  
TG: sigh  
TG: okay ur wearing a nice snappy suit  
TG: its totes hot  
TG: and im in a cute apron and a little ponk dress  
TG: *pink  
TG: its classy as fuck  
TG: i down my martnini and give you a smouldering look  
TG: just in case they dont have those in alienworld its really sexy  
AT: oKAY, i AM TOTALLY APPRECIATING THAT,  
AT: i PICK YOU UP IN MY ARMS,  
TG: oh no put me down this instant! i say  
TG: but i totally dont mean it *wunk*  
TG: *wink  
AT: i CARRY YOU THROUGH THE HOUSE, TO,

AT: tO THE FIGHTER JETS,  
TG: waht  
AT: uH,  
AT: tO THE SMALL BIRD,  
TG: what

AT: tO THE BEDROOM,  
TG: aw yes now where talking  
AT: i CARRY YOU TO THE BEDROOM, AND i PUT YOU ON THE BED,  
TG: oh my how forceful!  
AT: aND THEN i,  
AT: aRE KISSES A THING, THAT HUMANS ENJOY,  
TG: they defininitely are  
TG: i pull you down by ur tie and welcoem u on to the hms smooches  
TG: this is ur captian speaking toot toot all aboard  
AT: i AM DEFINITELY ABOARD THIS FINE VESSEL,  
AT: i KISS YOU JUST LIKE AN INSURANCE SALESMAN WOULD,  
TG: okay thats one of the weirder setnrences ive ever read  
TG: but okay  
TG: i unbotton your shirt and throw it aside  
TG: pchooo there it goes  
AT: oKAY,  
AT: i GENTLY TOUCH YOUR,

AT: yOUR SQUISHY BITS,  
TG: waow thats so romantic  
TG: all this romance is just blowing my mnid  
TG: *mund  
TG: *mind  
TG: i grab ur butt in retlaiation for ur poor word choice  
AT: wOAH,  
AT: tHAT'S KIND OF FORWARD,  
TG: im just the kind of housewofe i am  
TG: consider yr butt firmyl grabbed mister  
TG: no ifs ands or....  
TG: ..........  
AT: yES, oKAY,  
TG: ................  
AT: i GET IT, wHAT YOU'RE DOING,  
TG: ......................  
AT: pLEASE STOP,  
TG: ...........................  
TG: butts   
AT: i HOPE YOU KNOW THAT THAT WAS TERRIBLE,  
TG: im unreprentant whatre u goign to do abou tit  
TG: *about it haha  
AT: i'M GOING TO, uH, tAKE YOUR APRON OFF,  
TG: ooh so froceful husband  
TG: *forceful  
TG: i can be froceful too  
TG: i nibble on yur ear  
AT: tHAT'S, pRETTY NICE,  
TG: then i slip my hand inside ur pants  
AT: wOW, oKAY,  
TG: and touch ur jonk  
TG: *junk  
TG: heheheh jonk  
AT: oNE MY MY TENTACLES WRAPS AROUND YOUR HAND,  
AT: uH,  
AT: hELLO,  
AT: aRE YOU STILL THERE,  
TG: oh man im gonna need anothr marnini

**Author's Note:**

> Now with [adorable fanart](http://homesmut.livejournal.com/15023.html?thread=31472815#t31472815)!


End file.
